Labor cheap, taxes none, climate idyllic,
Droves of domestics and women willing to service you,
Massages for each roll of muscle or fat and mai-tais by the pool,
Free Danish, free coffee refills, free casino breakfasts,
Cheap lakeside cottages and unlimited game hunting,
Free passes, cheap safaris, dirt-cheap wilderness guides,
Piles of eland and game birds on the pickups,
Enough to banquet a fortnight in a gastronomic orgy
The press will omit to mention in the event of fatalities,
Whether from gluttony, strangulation, auto-erotic asphyxiation,
Traditional revenge cult murder or terrorist attack,
Plenty of underaged girls to massage the visitor to life
On a gauze-covered trundle-bed or big goose-down pillows
With Oriental embroidery,
Plenty of rejuvenation drugs, plenty of tiger organs,
Vials and steaming philtres of purgatives or aqua vitae,
Aphrodisiacs from a bitter black powder pestled
In a dugout mahogany bowl,
Special teas for circulation, for moving the extremities,
For flea-bites, ear and eye infection, for the intestinal tract,
Heart, liver, and lungs and the other dark unlit organs,
For the colon, windpipe or sphincter, for whatever ails you—
Liver failure, gastroenteritis, acute intestinal catarrh,
Dropsy, blockage, acid reflux, rheumy eyes
Or other [unspecified: please enter].
One free return flight, one complimentary bag
Of pretzels and spring water, distilled, and crystal-clear.
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